As I began to reflect on my 25th birthday, there were a lot of things that began to flood my mind. Most people celebrate birthdays and find them to be purely celebratory. I keep finding that as my years on this Earth start to stack up, my initial reaction to my birthday is stress. The forefront of this one being – only one more year until I am kicked off my parent’s insurance. Then another thought crossed my mind. Should I be having my mid-life crisis right now? This may seem like a grim thought to many. To those with a chronic, life-shortening illness, these thoughts are just a part of our lives. However, I am not one to dwell on these seemingly defeatist thoughts. They are precisely what feed my many positive thoughts.
Instead of focusing on the unknown and stresses of my life, I decided to begin reflecting on what I have already learned and experienced from life. People always ask me how I am so positive all the time. I believe that a big part of my attitude towards life is due to the lessons I have learned in my 25 years, with the last three lessons creating my motto.
1. Be grateful
I often see the people around me getting frustrated at things that are out of their reach instead of being grateful for the things that they already have. To me, this goes way beyond just being grateful that I am alive. That is often an unrealistic sight. If you are miserable and seemingly lost in the world, remember the small things to be grateful for. Perhaps it could be the people around you or maybe that one small ray of sunshine. It could be something so small that you could easily overlook it, such as your favorite candy bar laying on your side table. This is not always an easy lesson to follow, but I find that it is the one that brings me the most peace when I am feeling down. In fact, it was the inspiration behind this post!
2. Be kind
If you pay attention to the news or any social media, there seems to have been a rise in violence and disagreement. This lesson of kindness is something that seems to be getting lost in this time. It is SO important, though. We all live on the same Earth and all just want to live happy lives. How can we be happy when we are unkind to each other? When we put others down instead of encourage them? And most importantly, how do we fix this trend? Just be kind.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.
3. Be honest
While it is important to be honest to those around you, it is even more important to be honest with yourself. I have caused a lot of stress to myself trying to convince myself of things that I knew in my heart were never true. This may be about anything. I have tricked myself into thinking that I was healthier than I was, that I didn’t need help, or even that I wanted something that I really didn’t. You will never be able to help yourself if you are constantly fooling yourself. Honesty and trust are what build strong, lasting relationships.
4. Be a voice
Find something that you are passionate for and be that voice. I learned very quickly that there were a lot of people out there living with Cystic Fibrosis who had no voice. Either they were too sick or too shy or for whatever reason, no one was speaking to them. This is one of the big reasons that I have become such a passionate advocate for CF. Whether it is a social issue or something seemingly trivial, it gives you a purpose and a reason. It can be so fulfilling and could mean the world to the people around you.
5. Be creative
I realize that not everyone is born with a creative mind in an artistic sense, but this lesson goes beyond that. Especially living with a chronic illness, you have to get creative on how to live your life fully. There will always be hoops that we have to jump through and almost never a clear answer as to how. What are some creative ways that you have jumped through hoops?
In a more literal sense, please do color and dance and sing. It releases amazing chemicals in your brain. Even if you look or feel like a fool, who cares?? There is a reason adult coloring books have become so popular this year. Pick one up! It is one of the easiest ways to get creative!
6. Be curious
Anyone that knows me well, knows that I have to know everything about everything. I am not talking about drama or what is going on in the news. I mean, why is something the way it is? What made it that way? If there is anything that I am curious about, I have to learn about it. Google is one of my best friends. I recently got into Good Eats. I love cooking, and Alton Brown describes the science of why we prepare food the way we do. It is so interesting! He is known as the Bill Nye of cooking in our house.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. How else will you learn more about the world?
7. Be knowledgeable
I see way too many people in the world who have not learned this lesson. For all the schooling we are required to go through in our lives, you would think that people would care more about educating themselves. I do not mean this in a negative way, it has just been an observation. Lately, I notice a lot of people just blindly believing articles and videos they read on the internet. While they can be cool and entertaining, sometimes I wonder how people believe them. Of course not all of them are fake, but it is important to be able to differentiate between the good ones and the bad ones.
This lesson isn’t just about internet article. For example, I was having a conversation with one of my old nurses who had moved to a new floor. She was having a conversation with some newer nurses, who were maximum 5 years younger than her, about some historical event. None of them knew what it was or what happened. It baffled my mind because I just thought it was something that was common knowledge, since it was part of our nation’s history.
8. Be mindful
Something that causes a lot of us with chronic illnesses emotional pain is people not being mindful of what we are going through. We understand that there is no way that you will ever know what we are going through, but that does not stop you from being mindful of our pain and difficulties. The fact that I have been treated this way from time to time has just taught me to be more mindful of others. What may seem easy and trivial to you, may be much more difficult for someone else. Our struggles will never be the same or mean the same as someone else’s.
9. Be open
Try new things. Seek out new experiences. Remember the movie Yes Man? Remember how miserable Jim Carrey’s character was before he started saying yes to experiences? Why close yourself off to the world around you when it has so much to offer? It (usually) won’t hurt you to try something new. Whether it is a bite of a new food you have never tried or saying hello to someone you have never met before, where is the harm? If you don’t like it, at least you know.
Broaden your horizons.
Not only should you be open to world around you, but you should also be open to the people around you. A very important piece to this lesson is that everyone is different. While you may be living your life the best way you know how for yourself, someone else’s life may look completely different. It is important to be open to other lifestyle and understand that life is not one lifestyle fits all.
10. Be yourself
I get that this can be an extremely difficult lesson to learn. I just think it is such an important lesson. I wish that being yourself was the norm. I wish that people didn’t get bullied for being different. I think the best way to battle this issue is by having more people be themselves. Again, I get that this is really hard. It is so much easier if there are other people doing it too. Besides, everyone is weird in some way or another.
I find great relief in not having to pretend to be someone I am not. There have been times in my life where I tried to be something I am not and it was super stressful. I was doing things that I found boring or unappealing. I was even hanging out with people who I found boring and unappealing. Luckily, I don’t do well with being bored, so I snapped out of that really quick. I see a lot of people who are scared to be themselves and it just makes me sad. To those people, I love your weirdness. People’s quirks are normally my favorite parts about them! I wish that being yourself was easier done than said.
11. Say please and thank you
This is one of the oldest lessons in the book. This is one you grow up being taught from a very young age. There is a reason for that. It is good to let others know that you appreciate and respect them. Saying these few small words goes a LONG way. I know it sounds crazy, but just do it.
12. Make goals
Make small goals, make big goals, just make goals! It is hard to accomplish something if you never set a goal. I usually make daily goals because I get too overwhelmed if I make larger goals. It happens, but rarely. You just have to find what works for you and what keeps you motivated. Then when you meet your goal, you can run around screaming “GOOOAAALLLLL!!”
13. Have fun!
This is a lesson that I believe in with all my heart. I love to have fun and I think that it is an important lesson to keep in mind. It is always so easy to have fun when we are kids, but then when we become adults we completely forget how important it is. It is seriously probably the only reason that I am sane. Seriously. You should see how stressed out I get over completing the goals I set and getting chores done and working. Being an adult is a lot of work!
Taking a step back and having some fun has saved my health. It is one of the best ways to destress. Stress can wreak so much havoc on your body in so many different kinds of ways. THAT is why this lesson so incredibly important.
14. Dream big
It is often said that if you don’t dream big, then nothing big will ever happen. This does not mean that you have set your goal to become a famous actor or life changing scientist, it just means that you should not sell yourself short. If you want something, go for it.
I dream that one day I will travel to 6 out of the 7 continents. If this dream does not happen to come true, at least I tried. If I tell myself (and don’t allow myself to dream big), then it will never even have a chance of happening.
15. Travel the world
This goes right along with my version of dreaming big, which of course is different for everyone. However, I do believe that it is very important to travel. I have learned so much about the world around me by traveling. Sure, you can see a lot of beauty of the world through pictures and other people’s’ experiences. You will NEVER be able to capture that feeling of beauty. It is something that has no description and completely takes your breath away in a wonderful way. Never in my life would I think that I would be happy to have my breath take away!
16. Follow your heart
There is nothing more important essential to true happiness than following your heart. If you try to fool yourself or follow what anyone else thinks, you will never be truly happy. You can only do what is best for YOU.
17. Relax
This is a lesson that I still struggle with every day of my life. I am so awful at relaxing. My body gets anxious and I get so restless when I try to relax. For some reason, lying around is just the hardest activity in the world! Your body needs it, though. As much as it may seem like the world is going to leave you behind, that is not how it works. Although it seems like there is never enough time, taking care of your body is the only way you will get more time.
18. Love fully
This not only applies to the loved ones in your life, but to yourself. Self-love is something that I see way too many people struggling with. The amount of people who do not love themselves fully is an issue. Society seems to be putting the wrong idea in people’s heads lately. Here is the thing, YOU ARE WORTH IT. Everything. Especially all the love.
After you love yourself, then you can start to love those and the world around you. I do not believe in cutting ties or simply “changing your mind” when it comes to people that live in your heart. It is why I still have my friends from elementary school and am friends with a boy who once broke my heart. People wonder about my decisions in life, and this is where is stems from. I want to be loved, and the only way to achieve that is to love in return.
19. Forgive
This goes along with the love lesson. Forgiveness is the one tool that each and every one of us wields that can make difference in the world. In the grand scheme of life, who is a grudge really hurting? Yourself. That is the answer. The person will move past the wrong and move on with their life, while you are left to brood in the misery. If it is yourself that you are refusing to forgive, then how will you ever move past it? So why hold on to that? We are all just doing the best we can in the world. Guess what? We are all humans. In that, we make mistakes. Sometimes often. Just forgive and you will be freed from that burden.
20. Exercise
I was never really into exercise. I just really never found an activity that I truly enjoyed. As I got older, I realized that I really needed to get my body moving in order to keep it healthy. I really wish that I had been told at a younger age how big of a difference being active made. Actively active, not just being busy all the time. I was super good at that one. My body felt revitalized once I started to actively exercise. It was amazing. Not only did my body feel more energetic because I was getting my blood pumping, but it also made me feel proud of myself. It gave me one of those small goals to work towards that I knew was benefitting my body, even if I didn’t see immediate benefit.
I, personally, really like Yoga with Adriene!
21. Try new things
This is something that I truly believe in with all my heart. My parents did an amazing job of exposing me to several different cultures, foods, and places growing up. It has led to me being a well-rounded and understanding individual. I have also found many hobbies and interests that I never knew that I would be into. The only reason that I made these discoveries is because I said yes to trying new things!
22. Love the Earth
I am not very pushy about my eco-friendliness, but I do believe it to be extremely important lesson. Just like you need to treat your body right, the home you were born with, you need to treat the home that you were born into just as well. It is hard to see that all the minor effects that we have on the Earth stack up. The Earth is so large and has put up with us for so long. Even if you feel like your efforts are insignificant, know that they are not. If we all changed one small habit, the world would see the benefit.
Please just show the place that has housed you your whole life some of the love it has shown you.
These last three lessons are what make up my motto, so that tells you how important they are…
23. LIVE life
The whole reason we are on this Earth is to live and enjoy life. Some people get lost in the fact there seems to be no meaning to life and no ultimate reason, but I find it so freeing. It allows me to let go and just enjoy myself. Let me tell you… I LOVE life!
24. LAUGH every day
Laughter really is one of the best medicines. It is one of the reasons that I can be so goofy so often. I love making people laugh and I laugh at almost anything! Just try it and you will understand why this is such an important lesson to learn.
25. Just BREATHE
Something that I struggle with is getting overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the amount of care my health takes to maintain, overwhelmed with hobbies, overwhelmed with responsibility, overwhelmed with pain. Whatever the reason, I always remember to take a step back and just breathe. It allows me to remember that everything will be ok in the end, even if it doesn’t work out the way I imagined it.
